Steve’s Story

My name is Steve. I have Cerebral Palsy which gives me tremors, cramps and shooting pains in my muscles. I have difficulties with my speech because I sometimes stammer and stutter and sometimes can’t put my words and sentences together. I also have learning and vision impairments. In addition to this, I have anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. 

I have been seeing a beautiful sex worker named Ruth for over a year now. She is a kind, caring and considerate person who is able to work with so many of the above issues. I was able to connect with Ruth thanks to my understanding and supportive social worker. 

I have many different services from Ruth. We have social dates – doing fun stuff in the community. We explore lots of different types of ways of having sexual experiences and sexual intercourse and being intimate with each other. I am continuing to learn new and different ways of having sex. We talk and laugh together and Ruth lets me talk about what is happening in my life.

With Ruth, I have learnt about permission and ongoing consent. We ensure we are both happy and comfortable with any requests that I have and that all our interactions are carried out with respect for both of our needs. 

There are many different types and ways of loving and caring with a whole range of people in your life. My association with Ruth is a vital, special and validating one for me. Ruth’s services help to reduce the cramps and shooting pains in addition to my mental health needs. I have become more confident and now feel able to access the community more generally. My anxiety and depression are also vastly improved by having services with Ruth.

For some people who have a disability, because of appearance, speech and other people’s perceptions, it is often difficult to meet and attract sexual or life partners. For some of us, masturbation – a natural and healthy release – isn’t physically possible without expert support. This also applies to positioning – either to masturbate or for intercourse.

A sex worker is a skilled professional who can help with all the things I have mentioned and many more in relation to people who have disability or physical medical needs. 

The NDIS was imagined, invented and came to fruition to support people like me to have that which is “Reasonable and Necessary to have a Good Life” This would be it for me. I do not understand why inclusion of sex workers in the individual’s NDIS plan has now been banned. It makes no sense – either for the individual (if the aim of course is genuinely to provide for that individual to have a “Good Life”) or indeed financially for the government if balanced against the need for alternate services that may then need to be provided such as more physical, behavioural and emotional therapy.

The only way a lot of people are able to have sex or intimacy of any type at all is to contract the services provided by professionals, yet we are now being told that it is not reasonable or necessary. Seeing a sex worker is not just about sex and intimacy, it’s also about confidence, being valued and equity. 

I would like to see sex workers, sexual services and sex toys, all included back into NDIS plans. 

Connecting sex workers and people with disabilities and medical conditions, or both, is very important for all the reasons I’ve mentioned above and a lot more reasons. Like a lot of other people with disabilities and medical conditions, I am very thankful and grateful that Touching Base and other supporters are around and hopefully continue to be around for years to come.